How to make better decisions

For example, a birthday party. A bunch of people are drinking, smoking marijuana, and forgetting about tomorrow. Meanwhile, you decide to spend the evening relaxing and enjoying the good atmosphere. Sooner or later, everyone starts mocking you for drinking blueberry juice. The pressure slowly catches up with you, and you tell yourself it will be just one beer, then one joint... until you pass out on the couch.

Or your friends want to play video games all night, but you have work in the morning and need to wake up rested. You tell yourself it will be just one round, but it stretches until dawn. You swear it won’t happen again—until the next night comes, and you fall into the same trap again.

Or maybe you’re a religious person, and someone is speaking negatively about religion. Everyone else in the room agrees, but you recognize the positive impact religion has on your life. Instead of speaking up, you stay silent and listen as others eagerly throw mud at religion.

Wrong decisions leading to disappointment pile up. But the real problem is yet to come...

Consequences

Negative emotions and thoughts creep in, growing like an avalanche until they overwhelm you. You become bitter and grumpy, spoiling not only your own mood but also that of others around you. The atmosphere becomes unpleasant, and people start to notice. They assume you’re not sociable and begin to distance themselves. That’s why you feel rejected, hurt, and even more isolated.

The next day you wake up reliving it all again, unable to stop blaming yourself. You lose trust in yourself, doubting every decision—even the good ones. And when the next situation arises, you make the same bad decision again, sinking deeper into a black hole of despair.

Turning Point

What if I told you that your worst decisions could become your best introspective lessons? Just as the road to hell is paved with good intentions, bad decisions can lead to transformative experiences.

In this article, I will guide you through several exercises you can apply in your life. By the end, you will get exercises that will teach you to:

• Make better decisions
• Prevent negative emotions from controlling your choices
• Recognize your weaknesses and develop strategies to change them
• Expand your awareness and become more introspective

The good news is you don’t have to be born with these abilities. Reactions that once felt automatic can become conscious choices—giving you control instead of being controlled. By practicing this, you will start building a strong mental foundation.

Remember, every big change begins with self-awareness. To improve, you first need to know where you are weak.

Exercises

NOTE: This requires time and practice. Many decisions will still be made impulsively.

WARNING: If you struggle with drugs, alcoholism, or other addictions, please work with a therapist.

These exercises come in the form of questions you ask yourself before/after making decisions. Think of these questions as a journal. You can write your answers down. There are no right or wrong answers, and certainly no “I don’t know” answers. Reflect or simply write whatever comes to mind.

Before the decision

When you face an important decision, before you say anything—STOP. Freeze, as if in shock. Do you have to decide immediately? Only if it’s life or death. Luckily, most situations aren’t.

You can imagine a “Stop sign” or repeat a mantra that forces you to halt the avalanche of thoughts. You may not be able to think clearly, but at least you won’t make a decision you’ll regret later. This gives you time to calm down and become aware of your thoughts and emotions.

Then ask yourself:

• How do I feel right now?
• What caused me to feel this way? (Identify the trigger)
• What thoughts led to these feelings? (Thoughts → Emotions → Actions)
• Are these thoughts overwhelming? Why?
• Project yourself into the future… What options do I have? What are the consequences of making the first choice? And the second?
• How will I feel tomorrow if I make this decision?

If you still can’t think clearly, you’re not grounded. Relax, calm down, and repeat the process until you’re ready to make the right decision.

After the decision

Declare it done. You made a decision, and now you’re in a situation where there’s not much you can do. What’s done is done. Take full responsibility. Yes, maybe you felt pressure from others, but they didn’t force you to do it.

You may feel sad, angry, or anywhere in between. But it’s important to leave room to reflect on the thoughts and emotions that led to the decision.

View this as an experiment. Try to distance yourself and look at the situation from multiple perspectives. To understand yourself and make better decisions, you need to think constructively about your thoughts and feelings.

Do a retrospective analysis—ideally the next day, when you’re not hungover. Reflect on the emotions, thoughts, and decisions you made.

Ask yourself:

• Was the decision conscious or impulsive?
• What thoughts came before the feelings? (Notice subtle thoughts that triggered your feelings)
• How did those thoughts make you feel?
• Why did those thoughts make you feel that way?
• Were the feelings overwhelming? Why?
• What’s the worst possible scenario if I had made a different decision? (Imagine, even irrationally)
• Even if the worst happens, why does it seem scary?

Reframe:

• Has something similar happened before? When?
• What are the positive aspects of making this decision? (Write down whatever comes to mind)

The point is:

• Use this for introspection to understand yourself.
• Keep this situation in mind so you can recall it and make better decisions in the future.
• Let this situation remain in your mind—not for self-pity or regret, but as a signal for future decisions. You have the right to make mistakes because every mistake is a lesson.

Conclusion

Making decisions is a key part of life, but it is essential to make them with awareness and introspection.

Before making a decision, it’s important to stop and reflect—especially in situations where emotions dominate. Giving yourself time to calm down allows for clearer judgment. After that, it is equally important to reflect on the consequences of your actions, acknowledging both positive and negative sides. Self-awareness allows you to learn from past decisions and avoid repeating harmful patterns.

In the end, every decision, good or bad, is an opportunity to better understand yourself. Accepting responsibility without blaming and learning from every experience helps you prepare for making more conscious and thoughtful decisions in the future.