Frequently asked questions about psychotherapy

How do I know if I need psychotherapy?

Some of the key signs that it's time to see a psychotherapist are:

1. The problem is causing you suffering and significantly affecting your lifestyle. If you see that the problem is significantly affecting many areas of your life (college, work, friendships, and romantic relationships…) and reducing your ability to function, it may be time to see a psychotherapist.
2. You rely on unhealthy coping mechanisms. If you're dealing with a problem through excessive drinking, smoking, drugs, overeating, pornography, and other types of addictions, it's time to seek help.
3. Friends and family are worried about you. If the problem has reached a point where close people have become concerned about you, talking to a psychotherapist might help.
4. Nothing you've tried has helped. You've read self-help books, tried different techniques, or even tried to ignore the problem, but it seems like things are staying the same or getting worse.
5. You can't control the problem. A big indicator that you have a problem is that you can't control it; it's starting to control your life. You are changing and adapting your lifestyle to it.

Do I have to have a problem to go to psychotherapy?

No. Although the focus of psychotherapy is to help people overcome psychological and emotional problems, it also serves those who want to get to know themselves better, improve life skills, strengthen internal capacities, and achieve their goals more easily and quickly.

How long will it take to solve a problem?

There is no concrete answer to this question. Psychotherapy can last only a few sessions, but it can also last for months, or even years. The severity and persistence of the problem, the therapist's expertise, your desire to work on yourself, and many other factors influence the duration of psychotherapy. Every person is an individual, and there is no clearly defined period for how much therapy is needed to achieve the desired change.

How do I choose a psychotherapist?

In a sea of psychotherapists, the choice can feel truly overwhelming and stressful. Look for a therapist who has the necessary education and experience with your problem. You certainly don't want to be their guinea pig. Ask them direct questions about their experience; don't be shy! This is about you and your psychological health.

If you determine that you are not on the same wavelength or that working together is not leading to improvement, the therapist should refer you to another colleague, or you can choose someone else on your own.

How many sessions should I have?

Regarding weekly or monthly sessions, they are established in agreement with you, your capabilities, and your needs. Personally, I believe (and practice consistently shows) that psychotherapy is not effective if it is done less than once a week.

What does a psychotherapy session look like?

Psychotherapy is a type of systematic conversation that takes place around topics you choose—a specific feeling, event, or problem you are facing. During the conversation, the client and therapist work together to find a solution to the problem.

Conversation doesn't have to be the only element of the sessions. Certain approaches include creative activities like drawing, writing, or acting. Other therapists use physical exercises or relaxation exercises, meditation, and the like. Sometimes you will be given tasks to do between sessions.

Does a therapist have to be a psychologist?

No. Psychotherapists can be psychologists and psychiatrists, but also experts from other fields of humanities (pedagogues, andragogues, philologists, special educators…) who, in addition to their basic education, have completed training in one of the psychotherapy approaches. For someone to be a psychotherapist and not a psychologist or psychiatrist, they must have completed a licensed psychotherapy program, passed a psychotherapeutic propaedeutic exam, and completed supervision and personal therapy.

Which approach in psychotherapy should I choose?

When you start psychotherapy, it is generally not important which psychotherapy approach you choose. What is important is that you feel free to share your problems with the psychotherapist, see which approach suits you best, and whether your joint work leads to progress.

Is discretion guaranteed?

Yes! According to the professional code of ethics, everything that is said in the sessions stays between you and the psychotherapist. If the psychotherapist wants to present your joint work at a professional conference, in a book, or during supervision, they must ask for your personal permission.

Will the psychotherapist try to change me according to a template?

Psychotherapy is not about conforming to a model that the psychotherapist believes in, but rather about helping a person find their own truth. A psychotherapist must not be a wooden advocate for parents, friends, or institutions—they must work for you. Psychotherapy can only be done with people who want and are willing to work on themselves.

Note: If you have been working with one psychotherapist for some time, never suddenly go to another one or work with two psychotherapists simultaneously without first thoroughly discussing the reasons for it with your current therapist.

Author: Nemanja Kurlagić – psychotherapist using the O.L.I. method